We gather this Friday again to remember, reorient, and dispel the fog that has accumulated, to tend to the lamp so that we may see clearly; a lamp that was needed today as much as it was one, two, or even three years ago, whether we realized it or not.
It is an honor to be speaking today, the first jum'ua after our conference. Alhamdullilah, it was really wonderful. It was really wonderful to meet everyone that had been watching for so many years, and I felt humbled because the majority of these people had taken flights from far off and paid for hotel rooms, and I know that I speak for everyone here at Usuli that to say we appreciate it is an understatement. It filled our hearts and I hope that it filled the hearts of everyone who attended, and we are all very sad that you cannot be here in person with us regularly.
It made me think about what I want to say today. To say that there is too much to address, I feel is a bit delusional because there has been suffering in the world for a long time and there has always been injustice in the world. We live in a pivotal moment, but this message of Islam is relevant, it has always been relevant, and it will always be relevant.
Firstly, I testify that there is one God, that there is no other God, and that the Prophet Muhammad is the messenger of God. That the Prophet came as a mercy to mankind to guide us and to warn us that there is a true life beyond this life, and to guide us to see the myriad of ways in which we can be misled, that this life is for a purpose and not just play.
You know, everyone should make du’a for Shayan because as my closest friend, he has to deal with my metaphors, and I oftentimes say the same metaphor over and over again, but I think this is going to be the first time I say this one in a khutbah: I want you to imagine that you jump back and forth between two romantic partners and that both of these relationships are toxic, one just happens to be a little bit more toxic than the other. Person A is really awful and so you think, "Well, I was better off with Person B," so then you go to Person B, but then you rationalize why Person A was better. But in a moment of clarity, you realize, "Why am I even in these relationships in the first place? Why am I giving these people chances and attention? Why am I playing this game? I am saying no to both, I am going to get out. I am going to act based on principle, not pragmatism" You initially make some commitments to this newfound clarity, but as time goes on, you start to think, "Well, I need to be with someone, so I just need to choose one of them. This one gives me this, but this one gives me that. One is the lesser of two evils." Many rationalizations start coming in and you justify to yourself, "Actually, I need to choose one or the other."
I wanted to draw that metaphor before going into Surah Maryam (Q 19), which begins with two stories. One of John, and the other of Maryam and Jesus. Surah Maryam is the surah which has the word “Rahman,” “the compassionate,” in it more than any other surah in the Qur’an. And we are constantly drawn to and reminded of compassion in the surah.
Yet one cannot help but wonder, when you know what happens to John, why is compassion brought up so much? If anything, it seems like a very sad story. Zechariah, who had gone his whole life unable to bear a child, finally has a child and rejoices that God has answered his prayers at such a late age when his wife is barren, and this child becomes a steadfast servant and soldier of God. Yet if you know the history, you know that this child was executed. How merciful is it to finally give a child and then take it away in the most gruesome way? A father should never have to see their child killed.
Then you have the story of Maryam, who was born into the Jewish temple which was filled with a lot of corruption at the hands of the aristocracy in that temple. She had to live her life as a victim of gossip and live her life in silence, or she committed to silence while serving in the temple, and once she became pregnant miraculously, she had to go through more gossip. If one is serious about interrogating the Qur'an, they must reflect, why is this the surah in which “rahman” shows up the most? Why did God choose this person, a woman alone in this system, surely knowing that she would undergo rumors about her pregnancy, and that it would make her life much, much harder?
Perhaps you could say, "There’s nothing here, you are reading too much into things," but I do not think that I am because shortly after, the surah continues the story of Maryam being beside a tree, going through labor alone, and in order to get sustenance, she must shake the tree. It seems that there is a pattern here about the nature of life, about the nature of servitude with God, about the nature of what belief is, and the nature of compassion, because how is it merciful to make a woman in labor to have to shake a tree to get sustenance. Imagine that for a moment. In pain, your body being ripped apart, out in the elements, alone. Was it cold? No comfort, no one to help. And you are starving or why would she need dates in the middle of labor? If you really think about this moment and put yourself in Maryam’s shoes than you will see what I mean.
This is a Meccan revelation, this is coming to the Muslims early on in their journey before they have to engage in the project that comes after the hijra, in which they build a society. So it is laying the building blocks of the individual who will be called to build a society later, but this concept is returned to over and over again. And what is being built here is a reconceptualization of what victory is, of what success is. Most of us, most believers who see these situations that are laid out in Surah Maryam, would view success and victory as mass conversion, defeat of the aristocracy, or defeat of those who are perpetuating injustice or a vindication of her name. But we're being told these stories for a reason. We are being told these stories because success, victory is standing up against injustice, completely divorced from the outcome.
Now, a friend this last week sent me a video by someone who was answering the question of trying to make sense of Israel's power, of America's power, and what does this mean for us believers, the question that seems to plague a lot of people of how could God allow this to happen? And in this video, this fellow was saying that God created this earth but doesn't care about this earth. And so the ones that he loves, he takes this earth away from, and the ones that he wants to suffer, he gives them of this earth. And so this situation is something to rejoice about because it is a sign that God loves us.
This is completely incorrect. In fact, this is a theology of disempowerment and defeat because Maryam didn't just sit and say, "I'm being hurt. God must really love me." John didn't just sit and say, "Wow, I'm in the middle of a lot of disempowerment. God must really love me," and do nothing. There's something missing here about what is actually our goal as Muslims.
When I first listened to the video, because I was busy working and doing the things that I usually do where I have a video going on in the background, I was like, "Oh, okay, that's nice, that's nice." And then I went back and listened again and I realized this is really problematic and this is something that needs to be talked about because I think a vast majority of people are regulating themselves through our current situation with this kind of logic.
And this is, by the way, why I think that it is so problematic that a religion’s primary purpose is to regulate your nervous system because the way that the human mind and human nervous system is built is that you can regulate your nervous system off of anything. You can even regulate your nervous system off of a toxic relationship. What can be a source of regulation to your nervous system can be authoritarianism; being in a state of disempowerment can be a source of regulation to your nervous system.
A while ago, I gave a khutbah, it was during the campus protests, and in it, I talked about how you have to be really careful about who you pick as friends, who you pick as confidants and who you pick to surround yourself with. What I meant by that is that those people are going to be an extension of your nervous system, they're going to become an extension of your body, and so their behavior is going to become regulating to your individual nervous system.
This is why God says in Surah Al-Kahf (Q 18): “Stay close to those who are constantly striving to seek God's countenance," or face, not literal face, but are seeking audience with God, who are seeking the joy of God, who are seeking what God wants and God's presence. It's a very succinct way of saying those who wish to be anywhere where God is, not just in academic activity, not just in jum'ua, but in the way that they engage with entertainment and the way that they engage with socialization. Be close to them, bear patiently with them, and, as that verse in Surah Al-Kahf goes on, do not look to the world and the attractive things in the world.
Why? Because it will tempt you away from them and it's very dangerous. Because then those things will then become your source of regulation. Who you regulate yourself with is of utmost importance. And God gives us countless examples. Surah Maryam is one of them, of people who were lonely, who were alone and stood against injustice despite the extremely dysregulating and traumatic experiences that they went through. Two stories that both ended in execution after much persecution.
To take that story and those stories, which appear throughout the 114 chapters of the Qur'an, and think that this means that God wants you to be traumatized and wants you to be in a state of disempowerment and to be happy about it is not just a miscommunication, it's misrepresenting the religion because the religion is telling you that you need to strive in the cause of God with your money, with your body, with your attention. And it is telling you that even if they destroy your body and take everything from you, God still has the capability to make this a success.
I remember once I was with a friend and another person that I didn't know came who was atheist, and they said, "Why are you Muslim? I don’t understand. What do you get out of being Muslim?" The presumption in this question is that the purpose of a religion is to be a source of regulation, or something that benefits me personally. I am not Muslim because of something that it does for me. In fact, if you were listening to last week's khutbah, you would realize that Islam goes beyond that. It's a mistake to think of, "What does this do for me?" when considering Islam. Maybe a little bit better is, "What can me being Muslim do for other people?" But Islam is, "What can I do for God?" I am Muslim because it is the Truth, and it is the path to the Truth which is my goal, whether my nervous system feels good or not.
We say it all the time, "Inshallah," God's will, but we don't mean it. What this means in contemporary terms is that I am praying for knowledge of God's will and the power to carry that out. I'm not praying for God to help me with my will.
It's amazing to me because when I listened to this fellow I think I was reacting positively to the typical sad music that's happening in the background and his demeanor. I like liking people. Anyone who knows me knows I don't like judging. I feel very icky when we get into a criticism game, even though it is necessary sometimes. And I think that what I was reacting to was his voice, the way he was saying it, the comfort, the regulation that it's offering.
What is amazing to me is that while in the Qur'an, it says, "Do not take the money that I give you or the blessings that I have given you as a sign that I am approving of you," this fellow takes the stance he is taking. Because if that is true then it is true that you cannot take the lack of blessings that God gives us or the difficulty that he gives us as a sign that he is choosing us. This fellow went full circle and ended up back at the same place for the opposite reasons. They are all tests, but we cannot take the cause and effect of life to assume we know God’s will. We can never assume that we are chosen. This is the mistake God criticizes the Jews of constantly, do not allow your theology to become one of exceptionalism, even in this pitiful and disempowering way. Alhamdullilah, I do believe that when hardship befalls me, especially when it is hardship which challenges me to look at myself and to change, that is absolutely a sign of God's love because God has not abandoned me. But that is very different from creating a theology of disempowerment, of creating a theology which regulates you in a time where you should not be regulated. It should always be a challenge to evolve, not mental gymnastics to make myself feel better.
You should not be regulated. You should not feel good. I want you to feel good. I'm not here to dysregulate you. My goal is not to dysregulate you, but if you are in a toxic relationship between two people who are hitting you over and over again in the face and you keep running between one or the other, your problem is that you are too regulated to change, because the point of the nervous system is it is an expression of God's compassion. It is an expression of God's love. When it is in balance, your body communicates to you what you need and what you need to get away from. But when you are not in balance, and when you are unaligned with nature, with existence, this warning system will do the exact opposite.
So do not follow your hawa. Do not follow how you feel. Follow the intellect and follow the revelation and follow wisdom. Ask God for forgiveness.
Before I go on, if you're wondering, "What do I do? What's the next step?" Go through the Project Illumine Halaqas. Listen to 30 minutes to one hour a day. That might seem like a lot, but it is not. And take notes and go through it because the first step is not to go and solve the problems of the world. The first step is to know which direction that we're heading. So if this speaks to you, do that. The first step is to get in “right relationship” with your Creator, and certainly it is a step one must make everyday, we are never done with it.
Fast-forward to Medina towards the end of the Prophet's life, fath Mecca. The Quraysh have folded. Muslim numbers are bolstering after immeasurable hardship. The Muslims are facing a new set of challenges in this new era, and the Medinan surahs are addressing these challenges through both creating laws that establish the society and more social goals. And after Quraysh folds, there are two tribes that come to attack the Muslims and they meet them. They were planning to attack them in Medina, but they intercepted them and met elsewhere. And the Muslims far outnumbered these other tribes. However, these other tribes were very skilled, especially with archery, and panic sets in. And the vast majority of Muslims who are outnumbering these other groups abandon ship and run away.
What's left is a group of probably one to 200 of the solid-gold core companions of the Prophet, and they turned the tide of battle and they won. Surah Al-Tawbah (Q 9), which comes as one of the last revelations, begins discussing this. I had planned to listen to just a part of the halaqa on Surah Al-Tawbah, and I listened to nearly all of it this week because it's mind-boggling. I'm a psychologist. And so the way that it pinpoints human psychology in terms of its commitment or lack of commitment to a cause is unbelievable. This surah is basically a laser beam that hones in on nifaq, on hypocrisy, not just for the kuffar (the nonbelievers), but for the believers too; people who sincerely believe. And again, like in Surah Maryam, we're brought back to this concept of what is victory? What is true victory?
The Muslims, when Quraysh folded, were rejoicing and the vast majority of them conceptualized victory as the vanquishing of your enemy, but the second the wind blew and they started to freak out, the second that their nervous system became dysregulated in an extremely dysregulating situation–war–they jumped ship. What is the difference between them and that fraction of people who turned the tide of battle? I argue that it is their conceptualization of what victory is because to them, victory was not Quraysh folding. Victory was standing up against injustice. Victory was carrying forward Islam. Victory was carrying out God's will, and yes, they would be willing to die for that, but whether they die or live is really beside the point. The point is that their entire existence, minute to minute, is a demonstration of Truth and principle. Not the outcome of them dying, or getting power, et cetera.
And God is saying, “If you do not have this in your heart, if this is not what you are striving for, you are going to fall victim to hypocrisy." Subhanallah. It was discussed in Mecca preparing them for this, laying this foundation in them.
I am talking about this now because we are late to the party, but now is another chance to start working on this. You cannot stop at Israel. And what I am seeing, because I remember in the very beginning, people were done. They were gung-ho. They were showing up to protests. The students were participating in protests and getting expelled. What I am seeing now is that energy has started to deplete,
This is what I have to offer about why it's faltering. Because the energy most of us draw from to bring about change and fight comes from panic, not principle. Through the example of the Battle of Hunayn, it is demonstrated that God can do more with 100 to 200 people who use the energy of principle to affect change than 10,000 or 100,000.
So my question to you is, do you want to be one of those 100 or 200 people? Because let's say Israel is defeated and the Palestinians have their home back. Will you continue to stand against injustice in the way that you did the months after October 7th, a year ago? That is God's religion, not patting myself on the back because I am getting punched in the face. It is a way of life, and sure, it is challenging, it is hard, but it is worth it because God comes and says, "I want to make a deal with you."
But the amazing thing is this is not really a deal in the sense of there being an even exchange. If it is a deal, it is the best deal in the world, especially since there is nothing we can truly offer God that he needs. In the halaqa on Surah Al-Tawbah, my father says that the way a believer sees the world is very different from an unbeliever. An unbeliever looks at it like they are sacrificing something and it's hard. It is hard to pray. It is hard to part with my money. It is hard to part with my life. It is hard to inconvenience myself.I do not want to minimize the things that the early Muslims went through because it was vastly harder than anything we're going through. It is hard to not have food. It's hard to be poor. It’s hard to be persecuted. But the believer doesn't look at it like a trade or a deal. The way the believer looks at it is the truth that God is simply merciful and compassionate and has given everything for nothing, has given everything for something that was already His, God's, right to give away. He has given everything for nothing. The believer sees this. May we see it too