God, we come this Friday again to struggle in affirming the truth that You are the Truth, that You are our One and only Sustainer. You, who created the heavens and the earth, who constructed them and placed them with a careful and intricate balance that many of us still strive to uncover, constantly turning in awe to your creation. Lord of the east and the west, of the seen and the unseen. God, who is within and without. You alone we turn to for help, for guidance and strive for your furqan, for your criterion, for how to live life. So that we may find true certainty. So we may make this life what it is intended to be, something that is not pointless or idle play, but something serious and something with purpose.
As Muslims, we strive not to just go through this life as a tool for our own pleasure, both in this life and the hereafter, but we instead strive to bring Your reality, Your truth and Your will into this life as Your vicegerents, and bring peace and blessings to the Prophet Muhammad, his family and his companions, living and dead, and to all the prophets and lovers of You. What is it that stands in the way of our ideal self and our ideal world?
We receive a lot of questions, people reaching out to us, and many of these questions have many commonalities between them. But there is one theme [that stands out], especially in light of Gaza, especially being overwhelmed by Sudan, especially with the travesty of the holy sites being under occupation by a puppet dictator family that was placed by the enemies of Islam. It feels like we are surrounded by injustice, darkness and ugliness, and a common thread is, “Where is God? What do I do?” Not even “Where is God?” but, “What do I do?” It feels too overwhelming. It feels too big. I do not know how I am supposed to change this.
Oftentimes, when I respond to them, I tell them, "You are not supposed to know how to change this. You do not need to know how to change this." Step one is to build a relationship with the Revelation because it has the answers, and the miracle of this revelation is that it is a continuing revelation. It is not a static book, but it is one that, 1400 years later, is still more relevant than you realize. Every time I go to it, I get something new.
I had a conversation with someone the other day, and this is a conversation I actually have had many times, about someone suffering from addiction. What confused this person, someone who is not an addict and has never experienced anything with an addict, is how was it that they burned their life to the ground, that they destroyed everything? It seems counterintuitive. It seems to not serve the ego. It seems to actually be a disservice to the ego. I know that as a person, they care a lot about what other people think about them, they care about their image, they are very fearful, but why was it that they kept doing what they were doing, because they were risking all those things that they seem so invested in protecting?
That is one of the phenomenal parts of addiction, and one that is not limited to addiction. It is almost as if the ego would destroy itself before surrendering, that it might be doing something wrong, that it should do something different or that perhaps what it is doing is not even serving itself, let alone harming many other people. I do not think that this is restricted to those who have problems of addiction or more serious problems. In fact, I think that this is in every single human being.
1400 years ago, the Qur'an talked about this during medieval times. It answered this question, and not in the form of addiction, but as a universal trait of human beings, both believers and disbelievers. Surah Al-Dukhan (Q 44) translated “the smoke,” focuses on this. The chapter begins by giving you the solution. In Muhammad Asad's translation, verse seven of Surah Al-Dukhan:
“the Sustainer of the heavens and the earth and all that is between them - if you could but grasp it with inner certainty!”
This is not a happenstance comment, it is actually giving you the solution to what happens throughout the rest of the surah. What Al-Dukhan goes into next is it talks about people with fi shakkin yal’abun, translated as “playing with their doubts.” It is a very interesting phrase, because as the Qur'an often does, it is worded in a way that it can go in many different directions while still maintaining its specificity. The thing about using the word “play” is that you think of children. Play is make-believe. Play is fantasy. Play is delusion.
We like to create stories, so much so that our life revolves around stories, which is not necessarily bad. It can be a good thing or it can be a bad thing. But we are meaning and story constructing entities. Though, if you are not aware of this aspect in the human psyche, what will happen is you will start living in delusion and not know it. You will think that reality is happening as it is, and remain unaware that you are constantly constructing a story about yourself. If you do not know to look for something, you are not going to be conscious of it. And if you are not conscious of something, you are not going to be able to control it or change it. In fact, it will control you.
The other part of this is shakkin, “doubt.” This doubt is not the healthy doubt, which I would instead venture to call curiosity. It is not the type of doubt where, when I sincerely want to understand something or sincerely want to build something, I approach it with a curiosity to look at it from all angles. This is a doubt that is constructed to preserve the status quo, to keep things just as they are, even if it is a disservice to the self, even if it keeps one trapped in self-destructive behaviors, trapped in self-victimizng, or trapped in whatever else. The human brain likes for things to be as they were. It feels immensely uncomfortable when things start to change.
I am sure a lot of people who like self-help books, tracking self-progress and that kind of thing are familiar with the concept of ‘you are not really scared of failure, what you are actually more scared of is success.’ You are scared of things changing. If you have been most accustomed to failure your whole life, that is what you will seek and what you will create. It is a type of doubt that could be described as contempt prior to investigation. Having your mind made up about something and using that as a reason to not look into it, saying, "Yes I know, but that does not work for me because of this, that, and so on,” that keeps people trapped. As for people who are suffering from addiction, it kills them, literally. It is a doubt that is constructed to protect privilege and entitlements, even if those privileges and entitlements are for an elite that is not you and it is immensely subconscious.
Shortly after introducing this doubt element to the surah, God talks about a torment that is placed on people, a suffering. In that suffering there is a window of willingness that comes about where they plead, "Please, show me the way out. Get me out of this. Relieve this suffering." In some translations of the Qur'an, it is worded as if it is the final day, but I do not know how much I agree with that translation, as it talks about God relieving the suffering and then they continue to go on disbelieving, they swing back. We know that on the final day there is not going to be any swinging back, there is just going to be truth.
Regardless, it could be both because that is what I see happening time and time again with myself, with all of us. When we are in trouble and when things are painful, we pray and ask God to relieve that suffering, to just change things. But then when things actually are changed, we go back. It is hard to change. It is hard to build new neural pathways in the brain. I would even go so far as to say that we need help. This doubt creates something that God refers to as dukhan mubeen, which is another concept that, from translation to translation, differs. In fact, Al-Dukhan begins talking about kitab mubeen, “a clarifying book.” It mentions rasul mubeen, and also a clarifying test. It is tantalizing. Why use this word mubeen, which connotes clarity, distinction, and a clear understanding between what is right and what is wrong, in a surah that the early Muslims saw fit to title “dukhan?”
In the Project Illumine halaqa covering this surah, we were taught in the halaqah that this doubt, this commitment to this doubt, not a momentary doubt that passes through your mind, we all have that. But living your life according to this doubt, almost as if it is your furqan, your criterion, produces a smoke which obfuscates reality, creating another reality. That where there is smoke, there is a fire, there is a problem, but you are blind to it. The nature of this smoke and the extent to which this smoke blinds, the extent to which this smoke is extremely threatening, is captured in the example that comes directly after and is the main example in the surah.
The example that we are given is one that is discussed many times in the surah with Pharaoh and Moses, each time focusing on a different aspect of that story. This time, the aspect that we are focused on is the Exodus. That Moses came to warn Pharaoh but ultimately, what he was asking was the right for self-determination, the right to freedom of speech, the right to freedom of religion, to not be persecuted. He said, "If you want to believe, this is your Lord and I have been sent as a messenger from him to warn you. But if you do not, all I ask is that you let me live, you let me preach and you let me practice as I want." Pharaoh responded, "No," and he chased him through the sea with his forces. God then tells Moses to leave the sea parted.
You would think that if they approached a sea that was parted, someone who is so attached to luxury, so attached to their gardens, and so attached to their way of life may say, "Maybe it will fall down. Maybe it will not stay parted if I go through." That would seem logical. After all, you are the ruler of this land and you know that the sea was not like that before. Yet, he charged in and you know the rest of the story, they were all drowned and all killed. God even points this out in verses 25 through 27.
“[And so they perished: and] how many gardens did they leave behind, and water-tunnels, and fields of grain, and noble dwellings, and [all that] life of ease in which they used to delight!”
Is this not a lot like what I was saying with the addict? Addiction does not just strike the homeless. Addiction is not just the disease for people who like drugs or like a good time. It strikes everybody.
Even people who have very good jobs, who have a loving family, it strikes them and they engage in such risky behavior that the people around them are thinking, "Are they insane?” They have so much and they are risking it all. For what? They do not even seem happy, yet they keep going. They seem miserable, and oftentimes they do lose everything. Later on in the surah, Pharaoh is described as a musrif, in one translation it says “tyrant.” But Muhammad Asad says a very interesting thing, which is,
“And, indeed, We delivered the children of Israel from the shameful suffering [inflicted on them] by Pharaoh, seeing that he was truly outstanding among those who waste their own selves” (Q 44:30-31)
This is a very different translation from “tyrant.” It is very different from “transgressor.” Muhammad Asad actually explains why he chose this. He says “The expression musrif, which often denotes one who is given to excesses, commits excesses or one who is wasteful, has in the above context the meaning of one who wastes his own self.” He took this from Razi, “Namely destroys his spiritual potential by following only his base impulses and failing to submit to any moral imperative. Similar expressions, occurring in many places and rendered by me as those who have squandered themselves. In the sense in which it is used here, the term israaf, ‘wastefulness’ or ‘lack of moderation in one's doings,’ is almost synonymous with the term tughayyun, overweening arrogance occurring in the preceding verse." This goes on from a different surah, from Surah Yunus (Q 10).
It is a very specific type of tyranny coming from a very specific type of culture that wastes, a culture lost in playfulness, a culture lost in fantasy, looking at the earth as if it is something just to satiate the desires and impulses. But the amazing thing about it is that it constructs a monster of its own that needs to be fed. The fog blinds that type of self from losing all the na’ima, all the gifts and blessings that they have been given in pursuit of shutting up whatever Moses is in front of them. Whether you are a leader or you are an average person, you will do this with your friends, with your family, or with any opposing view that points the light at you. It makes you feel threatened.
God finishes the surah by coming back to this idea of play. In verse 30, God says, "We have not created the heavens and earth, and all that is between them in mere idle play. None of this have We created without a truth, but most of them understand not."
I now take you back to verse seven, where I said was the solution. “The Sustainer of the heavens and the earth and all that is between them - if you could but grasp it with inner certainty!” Sight not obfuscated by a smoke, created by a fire which we created, created through our choices, created through our habits, created through our cultures that have ingrained both consciously decided upon and unconsciously created behaviors and habits. This smoke can most certainly manifest as anxiety, depression, discomfort, isolation, and all of the icky negative feelings that we do not like, but this smoke can also manifest as the exact opposite. It can manifest as certainty. It can manifest as self-love. It can manifest as arrogance. It can manifest as anything. This fact is scary, because sometimes the right thing does not feel good and sometimes the right thing feels great, and sometimes bad things feel terrible and sometimes bad things feel great.
The Qur'an warns us against following our feelings. You cannot trust them, they are not your god. They indicate something. They are not to be smashed out or vilified, but they also are not a reflection of God, because God warns elsewhere in the Qur'an that, do not think just because I give you good things that that is a sign that you are chosen or that you are doing the correct thing. Yes, that goes for money, but that also goes for feelings. That goes for family and your way of life, but it also goes for your intellect.
At the beginning of the first khutbah, I said that the first step is building a relationship with the Revelation. As I said that I realized, there is something that I think has to come before or is as equally as important that needs to be developed, and that is wisdom. That is self-knowledge and external knowledge. If a surgeon is doing surgery and they have been practicing for 20 years, they know a surgery inside and out, but the surgeon has very bad vision, would you trust them to do your surgery without corrective lenses? Typically, the way we go through life is that we like focusing on one but not the other.
People fall in different categories. There are people who love self-discovery, therapy, self-help books, and they are addicted to that way of life, but they do not want to learn the surgery. Then there are people who love external knowledge, who love politics and reading books, and so on and so forth, but they do not want to consider whether or not their vision is clear. Both are necessary. Both are indispensable. This is something that we learn in Surah Al-Nur (Q 24), where God invites us to consider the example of a lamp. There are multiple parts to the lamp. There is the fire, there is the oil, there is the glass, and there is even the placement of the lamp in the room. If the glass is foggy, if the oil is low quality, or if you have the lamp in the closet, that is all going to affect the amount of light that it produces.
It may seem like an overwhelming task, especially for those of us that are overthinkers and perfectionists. But all you have to do is take it one step at a time. All you have to do is ask God to guide you, because you will not have it figured out. Most importantly, know that you are not alone. If you are in a bad place right now, I want you to remember that it is your best thinking that got you to that bad place. The good news, however, is that you do not have to do this alone. The only reason why it feels as if you are alone is because you have never given building a relationship with God, the most Gracious and the most Merciful, a chance. Or perhaps it is that other Muslims, or your family who raised you Muslim, did not impart to you how to build that relationship.
Go inward. Seek help. Ask questions and be curious about life. Be curious about the solution. If you are not praying all five prayers, then at least make the first thing you do when you get up in the morning and the last thing you do before you go to sleep that you fall to your knees and ask God for help. I promise you that help will come and it will come when God, who is the best planner and the best constructor, knows that it should come. It may not come in the way you expect it or the way you want it, but it will come in the way that you need it most.